Ah, New York. The city that never sleeps. It’s no secret that the bustling city is the envy of the world – with its boundless energy and iconic sites, among innumerable other things. Any New Yorker will fervently tell you that Manhattan is the best island in the world. But there’s another island in the middle of the Pacific that steals much of Manhattan’s glory: Maui. For over a decade straight, Maui was voted ‘Best Island in the World’ by Conde Nast Traveler readers – a distinction that makes a New Yorker’s blood boil.
That has got to be why so many people from New York travel to Maui. They’re not there on vacation – they’re only there to see what all the fuss is about.
Here are the top five complaints New Yorkers have about Maui:
1. Too Much Nature
Much of Maui’s charm lies in the island’s spectacular natural beauty – from the emerald valley walls at Iao Valley, the underwater bounty at Honolua Bay, and the volcanic grandeur at Haleakala Crater. Yaddah yaddah yaddah.
Where are all the skyscrapers? The bodegas? The bustling sidewalks? Maui is like one big Central Park, which is kind of cool, I guess. But who needs nature when you’ve got Broadway shows, museums, and some of the best pizza in the United States?
And before you get started on Maui’s beautiful beaches, NYC has sand and surf, too. Ever heard of Rockaway? Montauk’s not far either, people.
2. Perfect Weather
Maui might have an enviable year-round tropical climate, but where’s the excitement in that?
New Yorkers thrive on unpredictability. Whether it’s trudging through snowstorms, skirting thunderstorms, or enduring heatwaves, they relish the challenge. So, forgive them if they can’t understand the appeal of perpetually perfect weather. They are perfectly happy with their bitterly cold winters and sweltering summers, thank you very much!
3. Relaxing Pace of Life
New York is notorious for its fast-paced lifestyle. After all, New York is the City that Never Sleeps. Its sidewalks are always bustling, its streets perpetually traffic-jammed.
Yet, on Maui, the clock moves a little slower. The laid-back, no-stress vibes can make a visiting New Yorker feel like a fish out of water, if not at least a little bored. What’s a busy New Yorker to do on Maui? Relax by the resort pool all day sipping Mai Tais? Unplug under a palm tree and bask on warm caramel-colored sands? Go hiking and enjoy the serenity of nature? Please.
To make matters worse, everything seems to close before 10 p.m. on Maui. What is one to do when they get a 2 a.m. craving for a sub, a slice of pizza, or even some Korean BBQ?
4. People Are Too Friendly
Stereotypes will tell you that all New Yorkers are rude – but that’s simply not the case. They just have places to go, things to do, and people to see. There’s no time to say hello to everyone on the street. There are nearly 8.5 million people living in NYC, for goodness’ sake!
Maui’s friendliness is unnerving for the average New Yorker. From the minute they step off the plane in Kahului, they’re bombarded with smiles and warm greetings. The friendliness seems excessive, and really, who has time for that?
5. Not Scenic Enough
The Empire State Building, the Brooklyn Bridge, and the Statue of Liberty – New York’s skyline is dotted with iconic landmarks.
Meanwhile, all Maui has to show for itself is sweeping volcanic craters, azure waters, and plunging waterfalls. It’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing.
Also, can we please stop comparing the size of Haleakala Crater to Manhattan? Countless guidebooks use the reference – “Haleakala is so vast, all of Manhattan could fit in its volcanic crater.” There’s gotta be a better way to illustrate its size.
At least the Empire State Building is taller than Maui’s tallest waterfall – the 1,100-foot Honokohau Falls – or that would be a real blow.
If you haven’t figured it out already, this post is satire – and all in good fun. There’s no real rivalry between the two locales. In fact, New Yorkers are some of Maui’s most common visitors.
Maui and New York have many differences, but that’s what makes this world so interesting. Let’s continue to embrace the diversity of our planet and laugh at our quirks and differences along the way. And if you’re from New York, why don’t ya come visit us here on Maui sometime soon?!
Born and raised on Maui, I have a deep love for language and writing. At present, I work as a content writer at Hawaii Web Group, where I have the opportunity to showcase my passion for storytelling. Being a part of Hawaiian culture, storytelling holds a special place, and I am thrilled to be able to share the tales of the amazing people, beautiful locations, and fascinating customs that make Maui such an incredible place to call home.
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